US PASSPORT NIGHTMARE
1-877-4USA-PPT (1-877-487-2778)… 1-3-1, We’re sorry, all of our representatives are busy helping other customers and we cannot take your call at this time.
Goodbye, Click, Dialtone - Rinse-Repeat …1-877-487-2778……….1-877-487-2778 …hey I think this freakin spells something else… 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Well hell yes that makes perfect sense. Your passport system is sticking shoes up asses. Screw this I’m driving to Houston. The closest agency out of only twelve
or thirteen total in the entire freaking country.
Ok boss, I know I’ve requested off a week for vacation but well you see sir I need MORE vacation time now to deal with the passport clowns.
I've applied for the thing over 3 months ago... there is no progress on it. Getting through
the number is a nightmare and usually takes 1+ hours of holding... and when you finally hear elevator music, you celebrate making it through to their
hold queue, which can be another hour. After a human being picks up, they first
ask that you not yell at them. Most definitely a sign that those before me were not as patient -- anyway, the status on the passport is a different
answer everytime you get through. The point is it will not be here in time and my airline tickets are void. Alright Chris – get outta here
. Sign the timecard, cash in the vacation – headout to fight the Fort Worth I-35 traffic at 6… I-35 gridlock. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Make it to Sugarland at 11. Debate whether going to campout in line or not overnight… naa I’ll sleep -- those punks won’t be there this early. Wrong. I get there
at 6:45 am and the line goes around the freakin building. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Stand outside 2 hours. Cool here comes a guard. Appointment? Appointment? Yea I have one (but no paper in my hand).
Dude walks by and passes my spot before I have a chance to flag him down. He’s makin a NEW line for people flagging him down with a paper
showin appointment info. By the time I can get the confirmation number for my appt out he’s already formed an entire
new line from all the people BEHIND me. Oh you gotta confirmation number he asks on the way back up to the front...
Get to the End of the new line. 2 hours lost. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
The guard forms the separate line in a breezeway structure for people that claim they have an appointment (smart fokers). All the other poor saps that either didn't
have an appointment or didn't lie about having an appointment are still stuck outside wrapped around the building perimeter, baking in the sun. I'm listenin to the two dudes in front of me
from Louisiana… oh you’re from Fort Worth huh? eheh we’ve got no appointment. Shoot we haven’t even applied for a
passport yet. You got here at 6:45? Ahah we showed up at like 9ish and some security guard immediately grabbed us from the end of the line and put us
up here ahah. We’re flying out in 3 days. CANCUN DAWGGG I’m goin for the women, you? Say, how many digits are in your
confirmation number? I need to conjure one up. Next 10 says the guard…. 8..9..10.. the two Cajuns make it in and I’m still in line.
Some lady comes back out cryin -- take my place she says. I head inside and then lose a few more places in line due to the
security terminal making me empty pockets of keys etc. to prevent the machine from beepin. Argh. Eventually I'm back with the herd and somehow
manage to be the first fawk on an elevator to the 10th floor. Well first fawk on is last off -- there's a few more spaces in line lost. Floor 10 ding...To a passport terminal? Hell no, another freakin line
now in a large conference type room. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Guard is pulling one row at a time out. Rest of group plays musical chairs and moves 1 row forward…….. my row finally gets to the front.
Guard escorts us to….to……..another holding room. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Hour later guard pulls my row out.. Meet me at the elevator he says – you’re going to the 4th floor. Out of the elevator, new guard thinks he is
a boot camp sergeant. No Cell Phones. Obey the rules. I’ll escort you out of here. Don’t waste the time you’ve already spent. I already took
one out of here. Yea yea yea… take a shoe up the ass dude.
Ok nice, I see a terminal at the end of this line… power trip guard finally pulls us into room. Guess what, another line. The light at the end
of the tunnel was just a train. 1-UP-SHUS-ASS-U.
Finally make it to the terminal after 7 hours of standing in line. It’s the first person with the agency that you get to communicate
with about your passport. Yes we see your passport is in Charleston. Didn’t you receive our letter? We sent you one
on the 25th of May. Uh No I’ve received no such letter other than a large uncomfortable shoe. Huh? Nevermind. Well fill out this
application over there at the waiting area. Don’t ask for a writing utensil, you’re on your own. Finally get a service number… A0132 and we’re
on A0095.... NINE hours total and I walk out with a receipt for a FED Ex overnight to FW. Sleep, Drive back to work…..necessito una
corona ahora amigos…. it finally arrived this morning at 11:30. The wife's chronic nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea has subsided. The tickets
to the fine Mexican beach shall be cashed rather than trashed...
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August 16 2006
Ahh yea fantasy football season is starting up in a couple weeks. I think I'll put my money on Vince
Young... guess I'm a little biased. I'm #3 pick in the first round so I'd be smart to get a strong
running back, but VY is just tha man. I think I'll name my team........ Anita Brewskie. eheh
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July 23 2006
Talk about a birthday present... I thought that kinda stuff only happened in the movies. Happy
28th Kel. Love, C
After spending a few weekends designing the irrigation system, the starting gunshot has sounded.
Don't ask about me flooding the backyard just yet.. it's too recent. Heh.
Here's a little tribute to one of my favorite tunes out there -- and here's a little
tribute to my wife who is expecting a new one :) Love you darlin.
Cure's Site
The authors... if your foot doesn't tap when listening
to this rhythm, then well.. err... see a foot doctor!
311's Site
311 redid the tune and did a damn good job. The video rocks too. And the music I'm singing
to in the demo link above is 311 in the background. It's just a silly loop yo' -- and you thought my bass
skills were starting to own!
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Is Cowtown turnin me Country? Perhaps it is inevitable. After all, my little ones
have developed a serious twang in their speech.
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War is hell. Life is hell. Death is hell but ya make it all heaven.
All reasons fail, sense is never dealt, nothing matters without ya. --Crazz
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